i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
