kristin has been a bad kristin
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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