the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
