Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
