Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
