We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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