i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
