there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
