just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
