I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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