According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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