True but thats because hes a fetus.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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