At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
