that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
