I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
