I think my fart just growled at me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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