i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize