I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
farters have to be the big spoon...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
