i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
