he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
