I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
