Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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