They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
