I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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