don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
