Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
