He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
