I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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