I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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