i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
