I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
