just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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