honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
