I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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