Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
