the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
operation harelip BJ is a go
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
