is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
