yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
