The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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