Betty ford says i'm here all night
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize