how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
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