i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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