Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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