just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
