He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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