the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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