I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?