At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered