help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
