the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
