What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
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I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
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classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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