did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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