there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize