She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
