it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
