Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
