U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Enjoy the penises
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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