hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
