he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You can't special order awesome
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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