I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
