I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize