Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
