just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
